sit here and is generally less of everything and everyone. just want to
 disappear from here now, right now. I can cope no more, it is so
damned difficult. No one understands how I have it either, I am not able
 to this. What should I bring myself to. Coping!

and my sister makes me not so happy anymore. It was she who made
me happy before, but not now anymore. I do not know, she may grow
from that time. What do I know, what I know so, I do not think about it.
I love her, but how long can cope Monday to love someone who does
 not love one back? Yes it knows everyone, not long. She seems most
 to me is over and disgust, here every day like. No one has it as bad as I did.